When my sister delivered her son she had a horrible time. She started out with a midwife and a lot of confidence in her ability to have her baby without drugs. Her labour lasted 2 1/2 days before they moved her to a hospital. There they tried a vacuum extractor. That failed. Then they used forceps to pull the baby out of her. They had to cut her up very badly and then she tore even more. Her baby wasn't in very good shape afterwards either. It hurt for her to sit and walk for a long time. She was so out of it she can't remember stretches of time and she walked around like a zombie for many, many months afterward. She still isn't the same person. She isn't the same confident person she once was. When she needs to have a bowel movement now she has to insert her finger into her vagina to hold her rectum in place. She had to have another operation when her son was three years old so she can control when she urinates. Her husband left her for another woman when her son was a year and a half. She was happy to see him go. I always wanted to have children but there is no way I wanted to suffer like she has. No one can predict what awful things can happen. I opted for a planned cesarean.
My mother's friend is a midwife (the same one my sister had) and she went ballistic when she found out I was planning on getting pregnant and having a cesarean. I wasn't natural - They operate without adequate anesthesia - Epidurals will paralyze you - The infection rate is terrible in hospitals - It will take so much longer to heal - Surgeons will cut you where they shouldn't. She terrified me. She sent me to an obstetrician who wanted to send me to a psychiatrist for wanting a cesarean. I left his office vowing never to have children.
But the desire to have children wouldn't go away. I wanted a baby so bad. I just found a new family doctor and I talked to her about everything. She was so wonderful and supportive. She told me obstetrical politics were vicious and recommended an obstetrician with an excellent record. I went to him. He said the hospital he worked in had quality staff and top notch infection control. He had never had an infection with a planned cesarean. He assured me I would feel no pain during or after the operation. The anesthesiologists he worked with were all highly trained and competent. He never started surgery without their permission and I would be awake and aware the whole time. And no - he had never cut anyone where he shouldn't and he had performed hundreds of cesareans. The surgery would take about 45 minutes and my baby would be born in the first 5 - 10 minutes of that. I would see and touch my baby as soon as the pediatric nurse finished her duties which wouldn't take very long. People would talk to me and let me know what was going on throughout surgery. I would have my baby with me in recovery if I wanted and the baby didn't need specialized care, which he assured me is highly unlikely.
So who do I believe? I was already 33 years old so I got pregnant and opted for the planned cesarean. I showed up at the hospital in the morning at the appointed time and I was very frightened. I admit being prepped for surgery wasn't a good time. I'd never had a urinary catheter, an epidural or an IV before. I really felt like changing my mind when they strapped my arms down and out to the side and all those people in masks and gowns were around but I kept thinking about my sister.
So how did things turn out? I have two beautiful children now. My daughter is 5 and my son is almost three. Everything my obstetrician promised was delivered. I was up walking in about six hours with both children. I was out of the hospital on the third day but with both of them I think the last day wasn't really necessary. I took oral pain killers for 3-4 days after I got home and I felt great. I did have a problem with hemorrhoids for about a month but I didn't ever - and still don't- have any urinary, bowel or pelvic prolapse problems. A planned cesarean may not be right for every woman but it was the right decision for me.
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I am 9 months postpartum with my first (and probably last) child. I had a horrific and humiliating experience. When I was 7 months pregnant, I developed urgency-frequency incontinence and a hyper-tonic pelvic floor due to the weight of the baby and his position in my body. After seeing a urogynecologist, I was coldly told there was nothing she could do. At this point I could not work because I was having horrible bladder spasms, going to the restroom 40 times a day, and having at times severe pain and pressure. The OB kept telling me this was normal and not to worry. I knew enough to know this was not at all normal.
At my final OB appointment I felt water dripping down my leg. I asked my OB if my water broke. Without examining me, she said no, it would be a gush of water and I would know it. I later learned this was not true. My water had indeed broke at that moment. About 36 hours later, I felt something was wrong. Upon arriving at the hospital, I was told indeed I was in labor and would need to be induced to speed things along since my water had broke and there was the risk of infection. After 2 hours of pushing, a forceps delivery, my baby boy was born at last. He was immediately taken away and was ten floors below me for the duration of my stay. Thankfully, he was OK.
For the first six weeks thereafter, I was incontinent of bowel and bladder and had no control. I was told by my doctors to go home, change my own diapers, then change my baby's. I was also told it would go away. Although it has gotten better, it has not resolved. I never ever dreamed that this could happen to me otherwise totally healthy ** year-old. It has been the most degrading experience of my life. I realize one's body changes with pregnancy and delivery, but to the degree that one loses basic human functions? I felt crazy and helpless--as though I was in a terrible dream and couldn't wake up. I just wanted to sleep so I didn't have to deal with real life. I wanted to run away. I thought about killing myself. The worst part was people would say at least your baby didn't die, at least you don't have cancer, think about those poor souls. You are the lucky one. When someone dies, you have support of friends and family, you mourn, you bury the dead--I should know after losing two loved ones in my lifetime. With the loss of your womanhood, everything that makes you feel special and beautiful, the loss of the ability to control your bodily functions, no one mourns, no one cares. It is all about the baby now. You have created a legacy, move over, you don't count, you don't exist.
I want women who go through this to know that they are not alone or crazy. When you read magazines they never mention the long-term health ramifications like bowel and bladder dysfunction following pregnancy. They want you to believe that it is all gummy bears and rainbows. Don't get me wrong. My child is the love of my life, I just wish my OB had told me about the risks of forceps, prolonged pushing (especially in the traditional position), and induced labor.
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